You And I
by Doll.Of.Wisdom
Summary: A year passed since the incident. A year where the Ninja princess suffered more than remorse, and anguish. No, it was more than bitterness and her unfixable heartache. How can she live on in blame? And how can she survive on her own? She never felt so helpless, and it pained her deeply.


**A/N: Something I wanted to write in a while. There may be some spoilers... Since this takes place after Kotaro's bad ending. And it was the first ending I got from him. :( this idea activated my mind later on. Anyways, please enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shall We Date: Ninja Love?**

_Italic- Flashback_

Your P.O.V.

_I remembered the soft touch of his lips, his hand caressing my cheek. It made me realize how much I missed him. His warm hugs, sensual kisses... He really was gone. I cling to myself desperately, my eyes clouded in tears, they slowly descend down my face as I weeped in agony. Why... Why did this have to happen? My one and only Kotaro... Gone forever. My lips trembled at the sight of the waterfall, I was tempted to follow his path. But I couldn't break my promise... I had to live! And I will live... Without him. But it was too much to bear, and I hadn't expected my vision to opaque through my endless grieve. Before I felt the ground beneath me, I was being helped up in a pair of muscular arms. I blinked in befuddlement at the face staring closely into mine. I let out a weak croak, and fainted into the arms that belonged to Master Goemon._

Today was a very special occasion, to the people of Iga and to the Hattori Clan. I guess to me as well, after all, Kuma was getting married to Master Hanzo. To be honest I was happy for them, and hoped they live a joyful life together filled with affection. But when I gave them my blessings... I couldn't smile. It didn't come easily, and at that point everyone was worried about me. It's already been a year... And I couldn't get over what happened. Who would? A piece of my heart was torn away, and given to Kotaro. I wished he stole the rest of the in fixable fragments. What else can I ask for... I needed him. To this day, I cried myself to sleep, I wake up in the morning alone with eyes stained in tears. Why can't I be strong like he was... Why am I such a weakling?! It was my fault! And now Kotaro... He's... He's...

"Princess!" I was shaken from the sudden holler of a familiar voice, and came back into reality. A young servant by the name of Keiko, knocked before entering my room. She was a dear friend of mine, and only several years younger than me. She was my closet girl friend, other than Kuma.

"Yes, what is it?" I forced myself to smile, only a little. It's bad enough that Keiko began worrying about my well being, she's already got too much on her mind. I didn't want to be a bother. Nonetheless, a burden.

"I got a message from Lady Kuma, she would like to see you." Keiko bowed her head, before looking up directly at my face.

"I understand. And please Keiko, call me by my real name. I'm not a princess anymore." I turned over to my wardrobe, to dress in something appropriate for the upcoming wedding.

"No that's not true! You will always be the Ninja princess!"

"Thank you... Keiko." I whispered in a quiet tone, and was grateful, to have her by my side. Still... It wasn't enough.

"You're welcome! Anyhow, do you need any help with your hair and makeup? I'd be glad to help!" She smiled brightly, and walked up to my side.

"That's sweet of you, but I can manage on my own." I moved my hand lazily through all my kimonos, and couldn't find one to my liking. Even though they were all beautifully crafted, especially made for me, though I haven't gotten use to this much elegance in a while.

"Then I shall follow your command. Have a nice day, (name)!" Keiko left the room in an upbeat mood, also where I found myself alone again. I wished to recline in bed all day... But I couldn't let Kuma down. Once the ceremony is over, I'll scurry off back to the mansion. I've been living in the Hattori's household for the time being, for my own protection. It seems as if things would get worse. I truly hoped not.

I finally settled with a simple green kimono, though it had a lovely intricate design of butterflies that flowed across from the obi to the waist's skirt. It suited me a lot more from the rest of the other gorgeous kimonos, I was a simple girl and luxurious didn't match my appearance. After getting dressed I didn't spend too much time on my makeup or hair. Actually I didn't add anything to my face at all, but I positioned my long hair into a neat bun. I was a guest to the wedding, there was no way I would outshine the bride.

Everything else done, I left my room to the estate's garden. I breathed in the fresh air of the flowers, trees, and grass all around. It relaxed the tensions of my body, and the wind never felt so composed. But that led to me thinking of Kotaro. Nothing could change that. Why can't I realize?

I sighed heavily, glancing around the garden, in search of something I could do. I already helped out with the cleaning, and cooking yesterday. The servants around probably won't need my help for today, or else I would get scolded again by Master Hanzo.

I took a glimpse at the lucid blue sky, today defiantly was a perfect time to plan the wedding. Everything remained in peace.

"I'm not surprised to see you here. It's been awhile." Behind a certain tree, a figure withdrew themselves into the opening. It was no one other then Master Goemon. I didn't expect him to be here as well, with me that is.

"Oh it's you... Yes it has been a long time." I looked into his amber eyes, and knew he was happy to see me. It really pained my heart. He left for a mission two weeks ago, and since then he wasn't by my side.

"Aren't you overjoyed to see me? I mean, I am. You look cute as ever." His gaze never left mine, as he approached closer.

"O-Oh really..." I stammered, and then said in expect, "If you came to flirt you're only wasting your time."

Crossing my arms over my chest, I turned a different direction to not face him. Though that didn't stop him from pulling me over to his body in a gentle way. He titled up my chin, examining me slowly, his eyes flickering in complete shock.

"You matured so quickly."

I drew away, and stared up at his tall form. Did I really?

He then frowned, and I caught a glimpse of uneasiness from him.

"Have you been eating correctly?"

He peered closer, and all I could do was nod.

"...How about sleeping?"

I nodded once again.

"You're still a bad liar." He heaved a short sigh, before arranging his fingers to my face.

"Your eyes are red, have you been crying?" Goemon whispered softly, his voice coaxed in resolute, his hand brushed over my cheek calmly.

"N-No..." I trailed off gradually, and suddenly felt a single tear roll down upon my skin.

_That night was the worst. My eyes wide open in fear, I clutched tightly to my futon for dear life. There was no way I could fall asleep like this, especially through a thunder storm, by myself. I refused to let anyone comfort me, and now I needed someone by my side severely. My heart beat quickened uncontrollably. I gasped at the abrupt sound of thunder colliding, and thought I would be gone by now. But before I could, my body went numb from the panic, and a hand clasped onto my shoulder. I had the urge to scream, though at first not noticing who it actually was. __I blinked several times to keep myself awaken, and I had been trapped in Goemon's hold for the time being. I was able to sleep peacefully... But knew this couldn't continue._

"(name)... Don't please." He immersed his arm around my waist, and I didn't know whether he was joking or he really did want me near him. I finally knew from his expression that this was no game. I wanted to be embraced lovingly... But not with Master Goemon.

"I should be going now. I'll see you later!" I immediately backed away, and scampered off to somewhere else, and to where no one could find me. I needed time on my own, but there'll be that moment where I won't have the privilege. I found myself in the outskirts of Iga, like usual the village bustled with crowds of people. It was a lively town, and I enjoyed it here... I wonder if I'll ever see grandpa. He must be worried sick, since he hadn't gotten any news about me, well only about the defeat of Nobunaga. I guess that would've eased him a little. I was safe, though I can't necessarily say I was 'gleeful'.

Once I took a glance at the whole surrounding, there weren't that many people around. Possibly they were guests to the wedding, the townsfolk will be there since it was open to the public. I promised myself I wouldn't be there for long, and I might stay for the feast; and then I'll be out of everyones' hair. I should stop being a burden... Can't they see I'm alright! But can't they also see I'm not needed anymore... Kotaro, what else can I do?

_The war with Nobunaga was over, it finally was over. Japan could be in peace once more, and everyone can finally feel free. Now, I had Kotaro with me. I never been this happy before in my life, his arms around my waist as he held me from behind felt so wonderful. We currently were heading to Iga, and then came to a resting spot. Kotaro had got down from the horse, before scooping me up, and setting me down onto the grass. He smiled softly, and had pinned my body down, his head nuzzled into my neck as our legs entangled together. My cheeks flamed red at the way he cradled me gently. I wanted us to be like this forever. It was a selfish request. But I couldn't help myself, I wanted us to be together in this endless bliss of ours._

I was the last to arrive to the wedding, in which Kuma was furious with me. But I watched the whole ceremony, and it ended with the new Hattori couple smiling in tears. Being a little late, Kuma made me stay through out the whole day. I mostly seen everyone I knew there; especially Saizo, Sasuke, and even Munenori. They were all being kind, Saizo never once picked on me, Sasuke did his best to try to keep me (his words) "myself". And Munenori stayed in dead silence, even Goemon, who frequently stared at my face from time to time.

The sky blackened, twilight envisioned through the early stars, and the moon glistened brilliantly in the horizon. I wandered through the Hattori's mansion, and left everyone else who were either drinking sake or wine. My low tolerance of alcohol wasn't enough to slurp a cup, so I thought to be alone. As I made my way down the corridor, there was one room that came to my curiosity. I haven't seen a room like that before here, it interested me more. I shouldn't of been snooping, but it could be some sort of storage room?

I decided to look anyways, sliding the door open, and peered inside. The room was plain, and small, with barely anything inside. Except for what actually caught my attention, in the far corner I located a chest. I never seen one up close, and this particular one seemed brand-new. I was attempted to search what laid inward. I crouched down in front if it, uncapping the lock, which wasn't secured in the first place.

What I found startled my entire vitality. In that moment, reality slipped away, and I felt myself falling in bleakness. Cased inside, I found something more credible.

"Why... Why is this here?" I reached forward to grab Kotaro's gun. Before so, another hand grasped onto my wrist instead.

"And why are you here?" I glanced over to meet Master Goemon's reposing face, his eyes dimmed in monochrome.

"Why is this here?!" I repeated in a forced tone, "What are Kotaro's stuff doing here?"

"(name)... They've been here since his death." He answered vacantly, and tried to pull me away. I hurriedly clutched the gun to my chest.

"No! Don't ever say that! You've been keeping his belongings here the whole time!" I snapped, my voice cracking instantly.

"It wasn't just me! It was Master Hanzo as well!" Goemon retorted, and had me yanked up against him.

"This is for your own good, (name)! We did this to protect you! To-"

"To forget him?! That'll never happen! I will never forget Kotaro! No matter what!" I drew in a sharp breath, and felt a sudden twinge of pain crinkle in my limbs.

"What's the point of remembering... He's gone."

That last sentence consumed me. And it was true... It destroyed me. My soul plunged into darkness at how much what Master Goemon said was true.

"You're right... He is gone." My hands shook awfully, my nimble fingers let Kotaro's gun slip, dropping flatly to the floor.

"You're right." I whispered, my eyes brimmed in tears, but I couldn't bring myself to cry.

_My emotions got the best of me, and when I had looked deeply into Kotaro's eyes. I bawled. My sadness poured over, my tears stream in a never ending pool of despair. He hesitated before laying a hand on me, and rubbed my back tenderly. Burying my head to his chest, I felt his hold on me tighten. I glimpsed up into his face, and was filled with love as he began kissing my tear stained eyes. I had the courage to press my lips to his, and was drowned in contentment. _

Master Goemon rested his palms upon my shoulders, and sighed shortly.

"I'm sorry (name), I didn't mean to act so rational. But I can't stand this anymore... I want you to smile. That smile is long gone with Kotaro." Goemon frowned to himself, and continued onward.

"A part of me knew that I wouldn't be able to let you forget... I tried my hardest. Your friends are here for you. We watch you fall in isolation each day and try to help. I tried to help."

He slightly turned his head over, and stared intently at the floor.

"Am I not good enough, (name)? No matter what I do... You push me away-"

"Master Goemon!" I blurted out, and was shocked to hear him this way.

"Snap out of it! This isn't the Master Goemon I know! Why are you apologizing?! I am the one to be sorry! I ignored you when you were always there for me... And now you're blaming yourself." I clenched my fist, and my tears spilled on their own.

"I realize how weak I am! And how hopeless! But I can never forgive myself! I thought if I separate myself from you and the others... It would be for the better. I didn't want to be a burden. But I've always been a burden, especially to Kotaro. He's dead because of me. It's my fault!" I broke down, and I sobbed perpetually. It's been awhile since I freely cried like this in front of someone else. But Goemon was prepared, and he hugged me close.

"Listen... (name)," he whispered softly into my ear in a soothing voice. "Don't say such nonsense. We all know that it wasn't your fault. Kotaro dying was never your intent. And now you have to realize, he wanted you to survive."

"I-I k-know that... B-But..." I sniffled, and blabbered on in small sobs.

"Then don't cry please. Smile. Kotaro would want you smiling. He doesn't need to feel guilty if he knows your here weeping, and mourning." Goemon cooed to me, while stroking my head, and letting my bun loose.

I nodded, and exhaled deeply, to catch my remaining breath. My hair flowed past my shoulders, and I had my hands up against the front of his kimono.

"You and I will get through this together." The confident, and arrogant Goemon I knew smiled slyly at me, and bonked my head to the side.

"Okay... I believe you." I shifted back to my usual self, and smiled lightly.

"Let's go back to the others. I still need to give my blessings to the newly weds." He winked, and helped me up to my feet. We left everything the way it was, and it seemed as if nothing happened. Our hands intertwined, we walked into the dining hall. I overall enjoyed my night with the rest, I smiled, I giggled, I laughed... I was happy? Midnight had arrived too soon, and I was dragged into Goemon's room. We were a couple now... Right? I wasn't too sure yet, he was a womanizer after all.

Once we settled in the futon, squished together, I closed my eyes and drifted off into a peaceful slumber. In the world of darkness, I could hear a faint sound against my ear drums. Af if an owl was hooting... But I chose to ignore it.


End file.
